Tracy Press

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written by Dave Hardesty , August 13, 2008

Lyn

You wrote, "An unsupervised 12-year-old child sitting in the lounge with his handheld game, as the letter-writer described, is not acceptable in a senior center. I have nine grandchildren, and when they play their handheld games, they tune out everything and everyone."

Another activity for young people would certainly be more appropriate than having them sit in a senior center playing hand held games. In fact, if asked, I am sure this child would much rather have been outside playing on playground equipment with other children rather than having to sit quietly in a building filled with a bunch of noisy, cackling, smelly old people. When you were this kid’s age did you like to be around old people?

I strongly recommend grandparents tend to the personal needs of their grandchildren instead of selfishly attending to their personal desires and social needs to fraternize with elderly people of their own age at their grandchildren’s expense. You just may find a more important relationship with your grandkids if you do.

Back to the point of the article; I fail to see how even nine kids playing their hand held games and tuning everything and everyone else in the room out is a problem and how that type of activity would be disruptive to all involved.

Now if these kids are running amok, making noise and generally making a nuisance of them selves I would agree completely. But that doesn't seem to be the case here. One child quietly sitting alone, playing a hand held game in the Lounge area of the Senior Center to keep entertained, shouldn't be a problem to anyone except for the child who has to sit there and the person who hates the sight of kids I suppose.

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written by Dave Hardesty , August 13, 2008

Personally I find it very interesting that many seniors seem not to welcome children at the Senior Center but when many of these same people are confined to places like nursing homes they pine for the sight of a child, no matter whose grandchild that might happen to be.

You all may want to think on this the next time you complain about someone’s grandchild child quietly sitting in the lounge of the Senior Center while waiting for grandma/grandpa to tend to their business there.

Dave Hardesty

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written by fortheunderdog , August 13, 2008

Dave Hardesty,

You've got it all wrong this time Dave. This is a "senior" center activity, not a "juvenile" center activity. This is a time when seniors can relax, playing Bingo, without the interruption of having a child running around or even sitting for that matter. But let's not blame the child for being there, blame the child's parent for bring him.

Another thing I take as an insult to seniors is your saying: "filled with a bunch of noisy, cackling, smelly old people." You've got your nerve saying this. What happened to the kind Dave Hardesty you've shown in other blogs? Maybe what? is correct when he says that you're always trying to justify your comments. You owe seniors an apology for your comment.

"I strongly recommend grandparents tend to the personal needs of their grandchildren instead of selfishly attending to their personal desires and social needs to fraternize with elderly people of their own age".

You answered your own question here bud. Spending time with people their own age. Now isn't that what playing Bingo at the "senior" center is for? It's a time where seniors don't have to be around youngsters.

"One child quietly sitting alone, playing a hand held game in the Lounge area of the Senior Center"

This kid doesn't belong there Dave. What is it that you don't understand? It's a "senior" center. You should be telling the child's parent to bring him to the Boy's and Girl's Club instead, or maybe to the park, or take him to the West Valley Mall arcade.

"people are confined to places like nursing homes they pine for the sight of a child,"

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written by fortheunderdog , August 13, 2008

con't:

This isn't a nursing home Dave. These seniors do not need assistance from health care workers. They only want a little free time for themselves. I'm trying really hard to be civil with you on this topic but I'm finding it a little hard to control my typing.

I don't know how old you are, maybe some do, but you must have some pent up anger towards seniors. Maybe you know a senior person who just bothers you. Same goes for the seniors who think that about children. You're just wrong in your comments here Dave, completely wrong.

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written by Dave Hardesty , August 13, 2008

fortheunderdog

Well good morning. Glad I got you awake and thinking.

Now go back and carefully read what I wrote. You may also want to reference the original article and see my comments there as well.

I completely agree the Senior Center is not a Juvenile center and said as much in the second paragraph. So you can get your hackles down because I completely agree with you on this point.

I don't blame the child for being there and do blame the person, a grandparent if I recall who brought that child to such an activity. I also indicated that in the third paragraph. So we are still in agreement.

Working with many seniors and many children over the years, I elected to use the child's view of senor citizens when making my comments about "filled with a bunch of noisy, cackling, smelly old people."

Hey, go work with kids yourself and find out what they have to say about it and then perhaps you will understand where I am coming from. If you're honest with yourself I bet you felt that way when you were very young and forced to be around and with elderly people when you would rather be playing outside with your friends.

So you see I have nothing to apologize for, even though it may be a hard fact to digest because you have apparently forgotten the thinking that occurs in a child's mind when you considered the aspect of being forced to be around elderly people.

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written by Dave Hardesty , August 13, 2008

Tell you what. Go to a group of young kids and see how interested they are in going to a nursing home or senior center to visit the people there. Listen to what they give you as excuses for why they don't want to go. Get back with me on this because I am interested in your objective findings.

Yes, spending time with someone your own age is very important.

Spending time with your grandchildren is also very important.

Now, which is more important? Spending quality time with your grandchildren or dragging them along to your personal social function and saying to yourself that are spending quality time with them while they amuse themselves quietly in a different room as you pursue your own self interests?

Doesn't sound like a good bonding experience with your grandchild but then what do I know with four grandchildren of my own?

I don't take my grandchildren to my social functions and when I am with them I engage in activities they find interesting and don't force them to sit alone while I do my own thing.

You are absolutely correct; the child should not have been there.

But you are also incorrect in the way the person at the Senior Center allegedly handled the problem and that is the real issue here and the issue stated in the original article on the topic.

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written by Dave Hardesty , August 13, 2008

The most recent writer went out of her way to indicate the child was quietly sitting in the Lobby playing a handheld game. Other than the fact the child shouldn't be there in the first place, please tell all of us how that child engaged in that activity was a problem to anyone in attendance there that day?

In short, if you want to be with your grandchildren then be with them don't drag them to one of your functions and ignore them sitting in the corner as you pursue your own interests.

Personally I feel the child in question here exercised a lot of self control and self discipline, apparently learned somewhere, in that he was quietly sitting in the lobby entertaining himself so that his grandparent could enjoy him or herself.

Now, after you have calmed down a bit, please reconsider what I have actually said and not what you supposed I said.

Oh, and I am glad you could express yourself civilly because that is really important.

Dave Hardesty

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written by fortheunderdog , August 13, 2008

Dave Hardesty,

I can give you the benefit of the doubt to your writings.

I re-read your 3rd paragraph and can see where you're saying to the grandparent who took the child to the center to spend more time with them. Without your speaking about a prior reference re: this, one would take that paragraph for what you're saying not knowing what you actually meant.

Obviously that child was an interruption to one senior, maybe others, or the bringing up of the original letter wouldn't have been penned. Wouldn't you agree?

Ok, I've calmed myself down a bit to where we can still be Tracy blog friends.

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written by Dave Hardesty , August 13, 2008

fortheunderdog

Good and glad to hear it.

One of the things I desperately attempt to do is to engage the reader and force that reader to actually think on things from different perspectives, to accomplish that I sometimes leave things out intentionally.

At times it has the effect to cause people like you to take umbrage with what I have written and that then provides me an opportunity to better address the issue through more detailed explanation.

Sorry for shaking your tree and glad we got it worked out. I always hate to loose a friend.

Dave Hardesty

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written by truthteller , August 15, 2008

Wait a minute i remember the orginal letter about this young man at the senior center, it was written by the mother who was with him to visit his grandmother who was playing bingo, and before he was removed to the hall by the staff was making conversation with the other seniors there, and according to the letter, taking in the social education (ok my words not hers since i cant remember them) of proper conversation with adults. It was not a matter of some random kid coming in a sittin in the hall playing video games, and yes he couldve been outside but ya know if my child was lucky enough for any of her grandparents to still be alive and were willing to help me show her proper conversation, and social skills around adults, not to mention the stories they couldve shared with her id want her to sit inside with the seniors too.

no then if it where to come out that this boy had not been as described but rather a complete distraction to all attending, acting rude and disrespectful then i would lean more towards the go away seniors only, but if the mother (not a senior) was allowed to stay (hence child in all alone) the child couldve stayed...

i dont know i wasnt there but at least now the way this conversation came up is closer to the truth

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written by maybenotdumBcommenT , August 16, 2008

It's not about how good the child was truthteller. If the kid wants to be with Grandpa ha can visit him in a park